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" There was something stupidabout those people. Their eyes had this judgmental immaturity in them.I wanted to get away from that. I wanted to be looked at with eyes thathad patience and care in them.Hammer's eyes had a little bit of that, but I could tell he also sawLotus as his plaything. She was beautiful. I had drifted off thinkingabout myself, but Lotus was still riding the man who had changed me.Looking at Lotus, I thought, "Is that something I'll want to do?" Itwas completely out of the realm of imagination for me at the moment.Lotus looked like she was in heaven though. About the only time I everfelt really good was eating ice cream or cake. Maybe having sex as awoman was like that. Now that she was completely naked, I could seethat her tattoo was all one piece and took up half of her body. It wasa work of art. It was a light green pattern running everywhere: legs,belly, arms, back, shoulders, and neck. It was mostly these greenleaves that looked like they were floating in. She always smiles.Then, gradually the pictures change. Little by little. Do they change them when I am not looking? Or were they always like this and I have only begun to see them clearly?The backgrounds are less general, more specific: things I have seen here. Places and rooms I have been to, here.Finally, I recognise the girl in the picture: it is me.Here I am serving tea to a man and a woman. I do not recognize them but in the picture, they smile at me.Here I am helping the Domestics to cookHere I am cleaning a room, Neena's roomHere I am running outside with Neena: she has the encumberance of clothes. I am absolutely naked. Gloriously naked. I am not even wearing my chastity belt.Here I am in the gym. You can see the definition on my muscles. It looks so sexy!Here we are swimming in the lake and everyone is happy.Here I am on my knees looking up. Someone stands behind me, their hand rests on my shoulder. I smile: fulfilled, happy, safe, at peace.They are taking something from me.
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